Sunday, 26 September 2010

The old shades

Its 2010; the new age,
where we write on MS word and not on a page.
But still a love letter means a lot more than a text of ‘love you’
Though that’s a fact its followers are very few.

Agreed that there is no time to even have dinner with whole family,
As people have no time to smile they just send a smiley.
But are stomachs are full only when, with the whole family we dine;
A simple smile, even at a stranger can make his dull day shine.

Now there is enough money to buy food outside or get it made by a cook
But sometimes all you need is food made by your mom, not bothering about its taste or look.
Given a million songs releasing every year, I doubt if anybody lends an ear to the same
But everyone has a collection of old songs as they are still melodious and retain their fame.

Given so much freedom for everything there’s still a small liking for few obligations,
Many still believe in being morally right, ethically correct and in having certain limitations.
With the sign, codes, chat, sms languages around; we have a lot of option
Yet age old proverbs are still on tip of our tongues; nothing can replace their position.

The advancements in medicine are appreciated and have cured even impossible diseases
But still the grandma’s advice works wonders by which the origin of many diseases ceases.
People take rigorous workout and gym sessions strictly to maintain their fitness
The morning walks, exercises and yoga do the same at a lesser cost, to which I am a witness.

In short though the new shades of colours of technology and globalisation have made us more efficient
We cannot neglect the fact that the old shades are the basic colours which make their existence prominent.

Thursday, 29 July 2010

Being absolutely clueless.

Technically I am supposed to write 12 thousand words for my dissertation, I don’t know why am I writing here…There starts my blog - Being absolutely clueless.
I never thought that I would enjoy or be compelled to enjoy such a phase. My mom says that such a phase comes in every person’s life, that’s where he learns not about his studies, his career, his job or his stability but about his life.

Being clueless or confused can be a result of 2 situations:

1. You have nothing to do…and you are just plainly wasting time.
2. You have so much to do and think of…..that you kind of get stuck.

I am certainly in the 2nd condition. The language in this blog will be very informal…because I have to be strictly formal with those 12 thousand words….so I need to shed my informality somewhere.
Why am I clueless? Is it only me or are there people around who sail in the same boat? For a change I know the reasons….

1. My sole companion over here..my laptop with its soul mate - the internet, present before me so many things together….that I tend to forget for what did I put it on.
2. Dissertation…less said better. One can get clueless about everything. The related papers, data, your objective also how to exactly start writing.
3. Facebook: One of the main culprits. You get lost looking at your or some one’s profile or just the news feed, but still because FB in my favourites I just click on it. Thank God I do not play any of those games..(Farmville etc). But facebook does make you clueless…that why now-a-days I am kind of successful in avoiding it. I hope it continues.
4. Job: What? Where? When? Which? I have all these questions. If there is something that comes in this case with consistency….those are rejections. So clueless again but not pessimistic. I have decided to be hopeful on this note always, as that is the only way.
5. Shifting house: Again where? In the same city, or in some other bigger city or in a different country altogether…all options hold. Clueless again.
6. Time: I always wonder how my 24 hrs of the day just vanish magically. I am completely clueless about this.
7. In general: now this is to wind up- being clueless about: what to buy from the market? (read Tesco, Sainsbury’s etc , what to cook? What to do when I do not want to study? What all should I worry (or think about) etc.
(The reason for jotting down in points is being influenced by my supervisor who said that: ‘things written in points are better understood than those written in paragraphs, when you have to summarise something’.)

But then maybe there will come a time in life where everything will be so predictable, so planned that you can’t move away from it. You cannot plan you day the way you want to. Your then busy routine (presuming that you will work and also get married) will take over all the freedom of balancing your life.
So why not enjoy this clueless phase, make the most of it. Just by remembering the main goals behind it, working towards it and then doing what you want. I then think, there are so many people who must be carving to have such 24 hrs in hand as I have right now. So if managed well, this can be one of the phases to be remembered. It is not actually all that confusing. I think I have a clue of it now.

Thursday, 1 July 2010

The perfect planning syndrome.

I suffer (better to put it as, I live) with this syndrome. Planning my days, weeks, months, years almost the whole life is something I enjoy doing. It is my favourite daydreaming activity. I also believe that there are people like me, even if they are not, I still believe, ha ha.

It is really helpful during trips. If you have a planner with you, he will make sure that the trip is planned with back ups. Where to go, which places are best to see, what you should take along with you, what time you should leave (he is so planned that he tells everybody an hour before the actual leaving time, so that everybody turns up on time).All this planning comes near perfection by the grace of everything available online these days.The scariest thing is shopping. When we go for trips I have observed people shopping like crazy, they shop as if they will not get those things where they live or this is their last and final time of shopping in the whole life. A sincere confession though, I don’t like planned shopping because whenever I plan and step out, I don’t find those things I want and when I don’t plan and don’t carry enough money, I see those things all around.

This syndrome is also great for parties and get-togethers also surprise birthday parties (but it’s sad when it’s the planner’s birthday, he can’t expect the same). I think if a party is perfectly planned no one will get bored. A party should be packed with games, fun, lot of interactions followed with food and drinks, I love planning all such stuff also.
Giving surprises on birthdays has been my (and few other friend’s) favourite hobby since our college days. This is the one I like the best. Because it is great to see that one smile on your friends face when they get something as a surprise. We have done crazy things to see those smiles. But the only thing that irritates is asking others to be a part of it and shell out money, some times people just get too annoying. A good planner should make sure that he gets money from everyone much before the party otherwise he will have to run behind his own friends to get it back. Money management is actually a separate independent branch of perfect planning.

There is also something called family planning, but let’s not discuss it here. People good at other planning should be obviously good at this, but unfortunately statistics say that many great planners have terribly failed in this case.

Let us come to studies now. A big pause here for a hearty laugh (as these are antonyms – studies x planning). But I do make an honest attempt to plan my studies from a weekly test, submissions to the main exams. But if and when this planning fails, one has to face the consequences and I mean serious ones at times. All the goof ups in between are to be adjusted on the night before the exam. But any kind of student magically manages that. Great isn’t it! But on a serious note, it is really helpful to at least have a rough plan of how we are going to study and by what deadline do we ‘intend’ to finish and start revision ( if revision really exists). So this syndrome has positive effects here. I think same goes in case of work. If you plan your targets and work accordingly, success is almost sure. But I don’t have enough experience in this as I don’t have a job, I am still in the struggling unemployed league. (somebody please give me a job).

Another important thing where planning helps is at multitasking. This has also been my hobby since school days. It sometimes becomes a habit; I find it difficult to concentrate if I just have one thing at hand. The best example here is of the working women. They are great at multitasking – job, husband, children, in-laws, relatives from both sides and obviously being the home minister. Hats off to them. But just imagine what level of planning it all takes! So a woman who is good at planning will find it easier but gradually all women learn. Also comes here is time management .Like money management, time management is also a branch of this syndrome.

However excessive of this syndrome is dangerous. I have seen people obsessed with planning. They plan each and everything and make their life boring and dull. We should allow something’s to be done all of a sudden without much of thinking going behind it. What if planning fails? Can all of us take that? I have struggled with it as well. When something I plan does not work out, I am disturbed for a day or two and then I make a new plan, accepting my ( or sometimes others) mistake. So I have learnt that one should be a little flexible with this perfect planning syndrome. Also one should learn to accept times when planning fails.

All said and done, perfect planning syndrome works most of the times but only in moderation and certain things in life go better un-planned.
Finally as practice makes man perfect, planning definitely brings him closer to it.

Saturday, 13 March 2010

What’s bothering me?

Ans: You aren’t dancing……

From almost 2-3 months now, I have not been, what I used to be. I was smiling as ever but it had lost its magic. I was doing my daily chores but it looked like a burden of responsibility to me. I was studying most of the time in the day but hardly understanding or rather hardly liking what I was studying. I was cribbing about most stupid things ever and I was sleeping for long hours which I have never done.I realised that of late I wished to be alone and not be disturbed by anyone for hours together. Even when I was alone I was not doing anything productive, I was just thinking about, well nothing….All in all I was not happy.I then figured out that something is terribly wrong with me. Soon I realised its DANCE.

Right from the age I have started understanding things I have started dancing. It is certainly something more than a hobby to me. Dance really means life to me and I had stopped doing it all together. I didn’t realise it till now because from the time I have come to the University of Warwick, some study or the other, some work or the other has always been there. I thought that now, I need to really get serious in life and study till I drop like many other folks over here. But I forgot that it’s something I have never done till now. I have never ONLY studied. There had to be some or the other co-curricular activity to go with it and surprisingly that was not a hurdle but a key to success for me, if not always success at least, satisfaction.

Dance for me is a way of expression, a medium of communication to myself and to the whole world. If I dance like a free bird that means that I am happy. If I dance aggressively that means that I am angry. If I dance with constrains that means somebody is not allowing me to do something. If I dance like a crazy that means it’s usual me.
Then one day I decided let’s just forget everything for a moment and dance, ‘Dance like nobody’s watching’ and I found myself again. That was a moment to cherish. I was so contented from inside out. I found that freshness, that creativity, that madness which was long lost somewhere. It is such a nice feeling, as if ‘All izz well’. Come any problem I will face it. Come what may I will go through it bravely as always.

I am sure like me, everybody has something or the other that defines them or actually that completes them. I was definitely incomplete without dance and music. So anytime if something is bothering you, or you are not happy for no specific reason, try and do what you love to do. It might sound crazy and foolish to other people, but it means something else to you, that is what brings smile on your face and if it is childish to your age, it is good to be a child sometimes. I realised it all and I am undoubtedly back to myself now, enthusiastic and lively.

Truly hobbies are not something to be treasured; they are something to live with.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Some times you have to let things go!!

It’s really strange that there are times when we die to get some things, struggle to solve a problem, are desperate to clear some misunderstandings but however hard we try it fails to work out every time.


While studying psychology, I remember being taught that there are 3 ways of solving problems: 1. Attack, 2.
Compromise 3. Escape. All three are self explanatory so I need not elaborate. I always thought that my way of solving problem is the first one ‘attack’; I will face the problem boldly and clear it, come what may. Yes, that was my way and continues to be, but from that 12th std psychology lecture till today life has changed a lot!


Many experiences taught me that attack doesn’t always work and you actually escape! Back in that class while learning this philosophy, I used to think that all those who take this step are cowards, they escape from problems because they cannot face it or they are afraid to accept their mistakes etc etc…..but that’s not the case always…some times we try hard to fix an issue but still if nothing happens all we can do is, wait for it to happen on its own. If we keep waiting, we keep thinking about the issue and this does not allow us to concentrate in are daily chores, in such cases we should just stop thinking about it! Even that’s hard to do.At such times I envy people who can escape things and welcome changes acting as if nothing happened before, this attack way of solving problem some times lands you in huge problems, problems of your own conscience, of your own principles who do not allow you to let things go.


On a positive note we can have another facet to this escape strategy namely ‘let time play its role’ or the ‘wait and watch’ approach. With this comes the term impatience commonly known as ‘b’ in Economics, b is the rate of impatience and it determines many actions and has huge impacts right from rate of interests to economic policies. I mean some issues can really be solved by just being patient and believing in yourself and your deeds. But this slow movement towards success has many uncertainties in it. However despite the uncertainties and risks, evidence show that patience always pays off well. ‘Time’ in continuous has great strengths in it. Not only does it cure physical ailments but also emotional grudges. So make sure your ‘b’ (rate of impatience) is low enough to get high gains.


With time comes silence, and I am realising that sometimes silence can create wonders, silence works better than words. If you are right, if you are true to yourself, you need not always prove it; time will prove and will solve the problems for you. We have also studied history where time and again it was demonstrated that how various historic figures in their own styles allowed time to play its role, kept faith and finally won! Oh from faith I remember a very striking definition for the term, it says: ‘Faith is a conscious belief in an unconscious experience’.


Hence, from now onwards let there be 4 ways to solve problems, last one being: 4.To let things go! Nevertheless, attack strategy continues to rule although this 4th option is worth to be contemplated.