Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Some times you have to let things go!!

It’s really strange that there are times when we die to get some things, struggle to solve a problem, are desperate to clear some misunderstandings but however hard we try it fails to work out every time.

While studying psychology, I remember being taught that there are 3 ways of solving problems: 1. Attack, 2.
Compromise 3. Escape. All three are self explanatory so I need not elaborate. I always thought that my way of solving problem is the first one ‘attack’; I will face the problem boldly and clear it, come what may. Yes, that was my way and continues to be, but from that 12th std psychology lecture till today life has changed a lot!

Many experiences taught me that attack doesn’t always work and you actually escape! Back in that class while learning this philosophy, I used to think that all those who take this step are cowards, they escape from problems because they cannot face it or they are afraid to accept their mistakes etc etc…..but that’s not the case always…some times we try hard to fix an issue but still if nothing happens all we can do is, wait for it to happen on its own. If we keep waiting, we keep thinking about the issue and this does not allow us to concentrate in are daily chores, in such cases we should just stop thinking about it! Even that’s hard to do.At such times I envy people who can escape things and welcome changes acting as if nothing happened before, this attack way of solving problem some times lands you in huge problems, problems of your own conscience, of your own principles who do not allow you to let things go.

On a positive note we can have another facet to this escape strategy namely ‘let time play its role’ or the ‘wait and watch’ approach. With this comes the term impatience commonly known as ‘b’ in Economics, b is the rate of impatience and it determines many actions and has huge impacts right from rate of interests to economic policies. I mean some issues can really be solved by just being patient and believing in yourself and your deeds. But this slow movement towards success has many uncertainties in it. However despite the uncertainties and risks, evidence show that patience always pays off well. ‘Time’ in continuous has great strengths in it. Not only does it cure physical ailments but also emotional grudges. So make sure your ‘b’ (rate of impatience) is low enough to get high gains.

With time comes silence, and I am realising that sometimes silence can create wonders, silence works better than words. If you are right, if you are true to yourself, you need not always prove it; time will prove and will solve the problems for you. We have also studied history where time and again it was demonstrated that how various historic figures in their own styles allowed time to play its role, kept faith and finally won! Oh from faith I remember a very striking definition for the term, it says: ‘Faith is a conscious belief in an unconscious experience’.

Hence, from now onwards let there be 4 ways to solve problems, last one being: 4.To let things go! Nevertheless, attack strategy continues to rule although this 4th option is worth to be contemplated.


  1. jay ho Mata Dipti ! Satsang sampann hua....Maate krupa karen, yeh Satsang humein mahine ke mahine nahi balki Hafte ke Hafte sunaye..hamara jivan dhanya hoga..Dhanya bhag uss coventry ashram ke..Bhakt MArella ko hamara pranam kahiyega...


    On the serious note- Dont you think what you have contemplated as the 4th option is indeed a mixture of the 2nd and third...because when a person ( especially one who follows the first principle, the aggressive) decides to wait n watch ( time let go) he COMPROMISES his tendency of dealing with things straight away, he mutes his desire to accomplish the end in one go..Instead he chooses to wait(which for the time being maybe a hapless option.)
    Whereas, Sometimes a person chooses to wait more out of fear of immediate circumstances,for, he maynot be ready to take on the worse, so simply waits for the worse to pass..that is where the escape mechanism rules his decisions..
    Maybe in most of the cases its the variable concoction of the 2nd and the 3rd principles which makes a person buy some more time.. wat say???

  2. Thanks for the comment...
    You are right to a great extent...but the 4th option just justifies the times wen u are left with no other option but to wait.......I mean think of a wife whose husband is a soldier, just fought a war n ther's no trace of him being alive or she cant escape this fact...nor can she compromise bcoz ther's nothing to compromise as such all she do is wait this case even if she is afraid of facing consequences ..its not in her hands to face them time rules many times..this one's just an example!!

  3. Nice example..U got me here..its difficult to think in cyber cafe I must say.. will get back on this in a while..